Who am I if I don’t have the energy to be who I want to be.
You sit in your suburban castle,
out of touch with reality.
Glued to your screens, life is such a hassle.
Maintain your ego through the fallacy
of free will. Subscriptions, deadlines, and headlines. Rewind.
Disheveled hair and yesterdays sweats.
You’re too busy to be kind,
I’ll never learn to live like you, where life is just cleaning up one big mess
after another. Now I sit in a castle of my own,
make the coffee, fire off a few emails, drop the kids off at school.
An expansive, hollow place, hardly a home
just a place to breed while staking our claim.
Time passes us by,
in our castle in the sky.
Trapped within a mind
that knows no bounds, shackled by
my sense of self.
Tonight I walked the dog at around 9 o’clock. I ran into the three Weird Sisters, who wobbled and ached, they spoke of recent doctor’s visits in between long periods of silence. Our dogs sniffed, then growled and barked. I mumbled something, but in my mind I was extremely witty and congenial.
We pulled away and walked up the sloped driveway, walked along the arterial drag passing under erubescent street lamps and into the cover of shadow. I took a couple puffs off the 8 $ mass produced glass marijuana pipe I had shoved in my jacket pocket before I left. Presently I realize little resinated nuggets tumble around in my pocket as I hide the evidence. Of course the pair of rat terriers race to the chain link fence that runs along the sidewalk, their barks like trumpets, somehow melodic. Everything’s going to be OK. Life is a myth.
So suddenly everything slows down. Thousands of frogs croak, I can feel the reverberation of their ribbed ribbiting. Some days after 9 o’clock at night you can actually watch the clouds roll by. Have I slowed down enough to watch the world pass me by? I’m a big believer in perception, in different levels of communication and understanding, I’ve crossed a line. A threshold maybe? Everything’s going to be OK. There will be a price to pay… Cancer, stroke victim, diabetes, paraplegic, Crohn’s disease, multiple sclerosis, Parkinson’s, Alzheimer’s, degenerative, decognitive… Okay so I just realized I’m liquifying into the mud, slowly trudging my thighs through until they are sludge, my torso barrels on with force pushing forward into the future. I transcend(-s, -ing, -ed). I am one. I am all. I am a puddle, a looking glass, a point in time, the infinite pivot. I am here