Could it be that I have pushed away pain and sorrow and failure to the point that I have nothing to gain? That I have dumbly succeeded and that is what drives my misery now. This normal ho-hum day cycling on and on and on. I can feel it, this cycle, I know it exists and that I exist within it, but I cannot see the whole of it. I feel it in my bones, in my tendons, ligaments, and muscles. This habitual energy flows through me. I’ve worked so hard to proliferate this endless bloom.
Tag: pain
Too Many Mistakes (A Poem)
Well, i was laying on my side, melting into the mattress,
liquid layers of vibrations, carrying me away.
i was listening to my aura, as subatomic
particles in mid flight; like a helicopter above and
around my head. i felt the energy created through a lifetime
my heart beats like a time bomb, everything whirring
into a directionless direction.
I could feel the anger and resentment
built up in adolescence, aimed at the world
-which didn’t care either way.
I could feel the weight of the damage done over the years
trying to punish this body
that caused so much pain
-and it turns out this body doesn’t care either.
corroded stomach lining,
eaten away by battery acid.
weakened bladder, what does it matter?
if i’d had the resolve
and the right concentration
i could’ve continued my transcendence
back into the subatomic Original vibrations
but i was distracted,
again,
by the fear of having made
too many irreversible mistakes.
Down
Well I've been Spending so Much time Creating These little Battlefields. I don't want to be down, Want to be down, Want to be down, Like that anymore. And I been Stickin' around, Stickin' around, Stickin' around, Trying to win. No, I don't want To be Down, down, down, Down, down For the rest of my life. I spent too much time Feeling like I Feeling like I Like I'm the only one. Now I keep Kickin' around Kickin' around Kickin' around Thinking you've Been messin' around And now I Spend too much time Struggling All of my life Mm-mmm all of my life All of my life. Now I keep Runnin' around Runnin' around Runnin' around Creating these Little battlefields For myself. Drawin' those lines Looking for signs That I'm not the only one. I spend too much time Too much time Too much time Bein' Down, down, down, Down, down, Down, next to you. *Edit: changed formatting and added link.
All of My Life
My life
All of my life
I’ve been runnin’
From thoughts (from you)
My life
All of my life
I’ve been runnin’
from truths
runnin’ from myself.
Why does it feel like the weight of this world
is pressin’ down on me,
the whole of
the collective
unconscious,
steppin’ down
right on me.
If I could just
give it all up
and set myself free
from duality
it would’ve been worth all of the pain.
My lord, My lord
My life
All of the time
I’ve been runnin’ from pain
runnin’ from you. runnin’ from me.
I guess I’ll have to say goodbye
Pack it all in
with the hazy lemon sky above me,
And leave the World behind
Scatter my ashes with the wind
‘Cause it don’t matter where I been.
