It’s like

It’s like
that time, remember, you drifted through the crowd with purpose and ease. You saw every way forward, every crease. With only one aim in your heart: to feel the music. Toward the thumping speakers you drift, beating with the rhythm that held your whole body together, held the earth in place. Holy melodies shook thunder from the dome-sky. All you wanted was to feel it, coursing through your entire body, like aching desire. And there was no stopping you. Remember? the sweet release.

(it’s like that)

Always Love

there’s always love available. our job is to find it. when we are stuck looking for where its not we won’t find it. only when we commit ourselves to finding the love that’s available, even in impossible situations, will we be able to find it.

Some trees are already bare, and the leaves that remain, may well remain until next year. When a breeze ripples the giant sequoias, they whisper to each other the lost ancient name of loss and pain
—My love, are you awake?

and the dog down the street sounds the trumpet, and the oboe in the moon soaked starless sky whirs from far to near to far

Creation Creating (A Love Poem)

I thought about you,
when you were so tiny,

and how there was
no way I could
have imagined you’d
be the spark
you are today—

though why would I’ve wanted to?
you were perfect then, and
anything you turned out to be
would’ve been perfect too.

I couldn’t help
but realize, while
you pointed out
that a framed-collage
had no baby pictures
of you —

just you’re brother,
that at some point
you’ll take these kinds
of things and twist them

into the kind of pain,
and hurt
that drives us apart,
and then I laughed

because that’s just
part of the process —
of life.

You’ll need that pain,
to bring you back ’round again,

and no matter
what I do
to keep it away from you,
you’ll create it,
as I have,
as we all do.

Do you hear that voice
that voice that wants to
break things apart, smash them up—

that’s the spark of creation creating

As it Happens

I’m alive, am I alive. a(lye) ive. I’m alive. a(lie) ive. am I alive. a(lye) ive. I’m alive. a(lie) ive, so a live. I’m alive, am I alive.


x3


I sit here waiting for good things to happen, and when they finally do I don’t even think for a second that they might be because of my good actions, it’s just something good that happens to me. Instead of something that I created on the merit of my effort. I don’t give myself any credit, but for the bad, I always take credit for the bad things. Always take credit for the bad.


As it happens to me I sit here and I can’t believe, am I doing this, am I watching the blood flow right out of me, could this be how it happens. It happens. And I lie there on the floor spleen spilling out, carpet soaked. I’ve lost all filters, my stomach on the floor. Here I think, this is it, this is really happening. It happens. When you spend your whole life watching, you never live. You’ll never live again. And I think how stupid I look, laying on the floor dying, how stupid. How embarrassed am I. I didn’t hug her, like I meant. I didn’t tell him, with a look in the eyes. As it happens, I’m already dead.