Seriously, Again? (A Haibun)

How many times have i been a changed man

apparently   transformative forces are weaker than habitual ones

because everytime i think i’ve freed my  mind i keep going back to the way it was gradually usually, which is what makes it so hard to see

i start with this amazing energy and slowly i get the better of me

i once heard a paraphrase of a quote that went something like; if a bird thought the sky ended   he would stop flying. if a fish thought the sea stopped, he would swim no further

expanding your mind goes further than acquiring knowledge it’s having the faith that consciousness is limitless

it’s then that i notice that i haven’t noticed my feet hitting the ground

i’m walking   going through the motions completely unaware

how do you get in touch with that?

so as i stop to focus my attention on the inattention:

 

Above nighttime clouds a jetliner

Thunders

 

tireless, a finch chatters.

 

i laugh as i pass, there i go taking myself seriously again.

 


 

dog walking 

No Trace

I used to want to be somebody,

like a timeless, red bricked storefront with flashing lights and neat displays.

Now I just hope to be nobody,

like the flowering weed, covering ground, indistinguishable, leaving no trace.

I used to want

Now I just

Step in time with the rhythms of the earth and mind, waiting to be left behind.

Emulsified into the liquid sun, Eviscerated into the mountains

Leaving no trace.

All of My Life

My life

All of my life

I’ve been runnin’

From thoughts (from you)

 

My life

All of my life

I’ve been runnin’

from truths

runnin’ from myself.

 

Why does it feel like the weight of this world

is pressin’ down on me,

the whole of

the collective

unconscious,

steppin’ down

right on me.

If I could just

give it all up

and set myself free

from duality

it would’ve been worth all of the pain.

 

My lord, My lord

My life

All of the time

I’ve been runnin’ from pain

runnin’ from you. runnin’ from me.

 

I guess I’ll have to say goodbye

Pack it all in

with the hazy lemon sky above me,

And leave the World behind

Scatter my ashes with the wind

‘Cause it don’t matter where I been.

 

 

The Silence Within

 

LoneMountainPine

 

Silence is woven into the fabric of existence,

It is what connects us,

It’s how we know what’s not being said,

Silence is all around.

Thoughts resound,

And it’s the Silence that holds it all in.

I used to think

that there was no freedom,

no creativity,

or spontaneity. Because mind follows mind.

Try it next time,

when you’re standing in conversation,

with your arms folded and glance to the side

watch the mirrors of mind

follow in kind.

The real freedom, though,

is to know,

that this is the interconnection

of our Silence within.

 

 

Picture: “Lone Pine on Mountain” By Danny Flozi. Ink on rice paper.

A Myth to Myself

I saw so many pictures of Jesus this week
Hanging on walls,
Sitting on mantels.
Like he’s off matriculating,
Or proselytizing in some shithole.

I thought,
It’s like they all have the same forgotten son.
What about technology,
The future of Ai,

Technology is going to save us, I said
But they just gave me a funny look.

Technology requires faith too, I said
Because I knew that they thought faith
put them on some kind of pedestal.

Well where do we all go from here?
With a face and a name
Yet it all seems so unclear.

In search of a self
Secure in our selves
We just want to identify
Building walls
Thinking
Maybe this is my ground
Maybe this is my ground
Maybe this is my ground

We are the shattered,
Nameless faces.