Crystal Mtn Peak

I talked a lot on our way up the 6,500 ft peak. I talked and taught until I realized that the mountain said more than I ever could. The wind through the pines and birch, rushing water from a distance, the bird’s song, our shoes on the dirt trail, the clouds, the sky, sun breaks, light mist in our face, trickling streams running across the trail, the struggle to climb and keep climbing, the silence in between laughter. I wasn’t doing the teaching at all, my words were far inferior to that of the beginningless change of the forested mountain.


As foreigners, who’ve lost their way from home,

here to travel and explore,

To conquer and accomplish,

We found only exactly what we were looking for

A world of immediate wonder

Telling us that we are not foreign at all.

Breathe

Breathing in
crags of coral
lungs expanding,
slowly, slowly,
the diaphragm contracts and pushes,
room for further expansion. weightless.
breathing out

feathers
the entire world melts away into pleasant joy.
the belly, like a tide
lapping on the shore
if we can be aware of our insides
what else can we be aware of?

slowly, slowly,

loosen the grip. is there a beginning?
where does it begin?

expelling breath
i try to draw the line
between out and in,
but if i were wise,
i’d realize
that there is no difference.

once you start to breath out, you’ve already started to breath in.

who am i?

loosen the grip
no one here controlling
it just flows like a river, it watches.
what makes me so special?

why is it
that i look for
a single narrative to make the difference,
as if that narrative doesn’t hold all others.

in a single moment of expansion,
the whole universe breathes in.
an explosion of conditions
everything
happening all
at once
a flowers bloom
is made possible by the death
of last seasons fruit.
what kind of flower did you just picture?

the earth opens
there is no one experiencing
and nothing to
experience,

the perceiver,
the perceived
wholeness.

expand, contract.
the universe opens up,

there is no heroes journey,
no beginning
middle,
and end
it’s all here in this moment
all of history
the future
all right now.

i breathe and the universe breathes with me
no lines
no distinctions,
not right now anyway
we manifest new each moment and everything and everyone in history
is with us, again and again

and again and

again and again

Roots

I’ll keep you safe

From The cold autumn rain

You’ll keep me safe

From The bright summer sun

We’ll grow together

Our roots are the same

Under this soil of pain

I’ll keep you safe

From The fires and the flame

You’ll always stand by my side

Together we’ll grow

On the backs of our ancestors

From collective dreams

And miseries

Well, I’ll remind you

Of your passion and

You’ll remind me of

My love.

Together we’ll dance

With the sunlight and shade

We reach for the same sky

Together you and I

Trust

Most of the time i can’t trust myself enough

To know that i know enough about what i’m doing.

Running on the treadmill always trying to keep up

Gnashing teeth. Wringing hands.

What is it i don’t understand?

I keep trying to fill this emptiness, with some goddamn ideal will it ever be enough?

Spiraling cottonwood seeds drift and build up like snow curbside.

Cracked sidewalk shifted and bent atop gnarled ancient tree roots.

When will I know enough to know that all this striving, this ideal of

perfection is what keeps me from peace.