Hey listen I know I chose to have kids and join the ranks of parents that, let’s face it, we are all still trying to rebel against, the parents we’re still pretending that we won’t become.
But could you go ahead a do me a favor? Could you at least not act like every time I see you in the city it’s my big trip in from the suburbs. My big trip, like I’m some kind of grade schooler with my sack lunch or some shit.
Listen Next time we run into eachother keep in mind: I have kids; they smell and act like vagrants, they try to eat all my stuff like the worst roommate, and they spit when they prattle incoherently like the neighborhood convenience store attendant. So really it’s not too far off from big city living.
Our fearless leader made a decision today. We all sat around in the office as he paced back and forth. Most of us kept our heads down, clacking away at the keyboard, as he ruminated over the decision. It was clear that it would have an effect on the office for years to come, and so really there was only one man for the job. We all waited anxiously, just happy that we didn’t have to come to a conclusion. He debated with the office manager, but sent her away (with her tail between her legs). Eventually he informed everyone that the fire extinguisher would go on the wall near the kitchenette, in a convenient spot, yet out of the way so nobody acidentally knocks into it. We were all relieved. It was the right decision.
When the fire extinguisher technician came in to install the extinguisher, Mary the office manager walked him to the spot. She said very loud and proud, Gary -he’s the president of the company- decided the extinguisher should go there, pointing to the spot.
Gary slept like a baby. We all did. I’m just glad I don’t have to make the decisions around here. I mean that’s why they get paid the big bucks. Maybe one day, I could see myself taking on the responsibility, (and cashing in the paycheck) but for now I’m just happy to follow the leader. Ba’aah.
Tonight I walked the dog at around 9 o’clock. I ran into the three Weird Sisters, who wobbled and ached, they spoke of recent doctor’s visits in between long periods of silence. Our dogs sniffed, then growled and barked. I mumbled something, but in my mind I was extremely witty and congenial.
We pulled away and walked up the sloped driveway, walked along the arterial drag passing under erubescent street lamps and into the cover of shadow. I took a couple puffs off the 8 $ mass produced glass marijuana pipe I had shoved in my jacket pocket before I left. Presently I realize little resinated nuggets tumble around in my pocket as I hide the evidence. Of course the pair of rat terriers race to the chain link fence that runs along the sidewalk, their barks like trumpets, somehow melodic. Everything’s going to be OK. Life is a myth.
So suddenly everything slows down. Thousands of frogs croak, I can feel the reverberation of their ribbed ribbiting. Some days after 9 o’clock at night you can actually watch the clouds roll by. Have I slowed down enough to watch the world pass me by? I’m a big believer in perception, in different levels of communication and understanding, I’ve crossed a line. A threshold maybe? Everything’s going to be OK. There will be a price to pay… Cancer, stroke victim, diabetes, paraplegic, Crohn’s disease, multiple sclerosis, Parkinson’s, Alzheimer’s, degenerative, decognitive… Okay so I just realized I’m liquifying into the mud, slowly trudging my thighs through until they are sludge, my torso barrels on with force pushing forward into the future. I transcend(-s, -ing, -ed). I am one. I am all. I am a puddle, a looking glass, a point in time, the infinite pivot. I am here