Walking the dog, down the same sidewalk we take every night, back home. Down the side street that forms a T with the main street that we walk along a grey Chrysler, windows tinted, rolls, slowly, up to the intersection about ten yards too far back and comes to a complete stop. The green Lexus is parked in the usual spot on the side of the street, about thirty yards in front of me. Somehow I catch a glimpse of headlights way down the street, passed the crest of the hill. The Chrysler creeps forward, next to the stop sign and stops again. Headlights and the faint sound of a blistering engine begin to crest the hill. The Chrysler creeps forward and angles for a left turn, nearly into the street. I see it all in my mind, yet I keep walking toward it. I see the T-bone, and the aftermath play out in a millisecond. My angle never changes no matter how slow or fast I walk, I’m always going to be right in the path -the rollover, slamming into the green Lexus, glass shattering… hopefully everyone has their seat belts on. Does it matter how fast the Chrysler pulls out? or is it like hitting a baseball? In the same instant that he begins to turn he stops short and the Jeep flies passed. No time to check if seat belts are fastened.
the taste of canned green beans
in my nose
How many times have i been a changed man
apparently transformative forces are weaker than habitual ones
because everytime i think i’ve freed my mind i keep going back to the way it was gradually usually, which is what makes it so hard to see
i start with this amazing energy and slowly i get the better of me
i once heard a paraphrase of a quote that went something like; if a bird thought the sky ended he would stop flying. if a fish thought the sea stopped, he would swim no further
expanding your mind goes further than acquiring knowledge it’s having the faith that consciousness is limitless
it’s then that i notice that i haven’t noticed my feet hitting the ground
i’m walking going through the motions completely unaware
how do you get in touch with that?
so as i stop to focus my attention on the inattention:
Above nighttime clouds a jetliner
tireless, a finch chatters.
i laugh as i pass, there i go taking myself seriously again.
Pasted to the ground.
Anticipating new beginnings.
I saw the little Asian lady
in her car again
while I was walking the dog.
tonight, she was still awake.
Usually she’s passed out,
or sipping cold noodles,
and sometimes she just stares
at the steering wheel.
I don’t want to exactly
look, but I can’t quite look away.
Because when I look,
I only see a shadow
of the little Asian woman sitting in her car.
Parked under the yellow
streetlamp haze she’s
frantically checking the rear view mirror,
her eyes darting
now she is gazing out the driver’s side.
She’s been beaten.
Paranoid. Completely fried.
Her senses overworked.
I slowly walk past,
Passed her passenger side window,
all I can see is the picture of a person
reduced to primal,
responses from a species
we can no longer claim to be.
But still I walk past.
The Dog Walking Page
Tonight I walked the dog,
the entire way home
at a glorious amble.
I brought my
just in case it had answers.
It turns out,
I am the whisper of the pines
As he walked;
intent, head up.
Unable to be
anything other than.
I was so jealous of him.
The Dog Walking Page