Sometimes I forget my meditation practice is a tool, a supportive base from which the rest of my practice grows. It’s understandable since I practice everyday, soon I start to see it as a thing that is going to make me better, or get me somewhere. I depend on it, I hang on to it and it becomes heavy. And my successes and mostly my failures have a meaning, with regards to how close or far I am to my goal. It becomes a burden, burdening me with my failures and insecurities. It’s at this point that I have to ask how does my practice support me, does it? And if it doesn’t, why? Usually it has become a tool I use towards my destruction, and I slide into a depression because I’m depending on it, hanging on to it, expecting too much. I have to realize that I only need it if it provides a place for growth. Then it becomes light again, not heavy or burdensome. It becomes a chance for discovery, the reason why I was curious and interested in the first place. So I can use the tools of the practice, strengthening the base to support further practice.
As I walk along this path
I keep finding things that interest me and distract me
I pick them up, take them with, until they become too heavy to carry.